What’s Your Real Name and What’s Your Story
This is an all-too-common, particularly insulting question that servers face regularly. There’s a preconceived notion that servers and bartenders are creative people stuck behind an apron. While the flexibility and often high hourly rate does attract freelancers and aspiring what-have-yous, it’s also a legitimate job. Restaurant professionals consistently report feeling frustrated when customers treat them like temporary characters in their dining story rather than skilled workers deserving respect. Many servers have worked in the industry for years, developing expertise in wine pairings, menu knowledge, and customer service that rivals any other profession.
Why Is My Food Taking So Long
Sometimes it can feel like a customer’s main goal of the day is to berate servers about timing. Restaurant staff have zero control over cook times, what’s stocked in the kitchen, or whether the grill cook is having a bad day. Servers hate saying “Sorry, your food should be out any minute now” just as much as customers hate hearing it. Breaking down the restaurant is the most taxing part of the whole night, especially for the kitchen. Consider how messy your kitchen looks after making an elaborate dinner for four, and then multiply that by 50 – there’s your end-of-day cleanup. This question puts unnecessary pressure on servers who are already doing their best to coordinate between multiple tables and kitchen staff.
Can You Make This Exactly Like Last Time
Restaurant servers frequently get annoyed when people say things like “and make sure the noodles (or whatever) are soft because last time xyz” because servers don’t know what happened last time, there are 100 other people to worry about, and what exactly do customers want them to do? Every kitchen operates differently on different days, with various staff members and ingredient availability. Servers can’t control the exact preparation methods or guarantee identical results from previous visits. This question creates unrealistic expectations and puts servers in an impossible position where they’re held responsible for factors completely outside their control.
What’s Good Here or What’s Your Favorite
When faced with this question, the best way for a waiter to respond is naturally and honestly, sharing their favourite dishes or drinks with enthusiasm. However, the problem with this question is that the customer is expecting a recommendation that they will truly love, which can be tricky as everyone’s tastes differ. To better navigate this question, the waiter can ask what they are in the mood to eat and, based on their preferences, suggest popular dishes and drinks that would most likely satisfy the customer. This seemingly innocent question actually creates a burden of responsibility that servers find stressful, as they’re essentially being asked to guarantee satisfaction for someone’s entire meal experience.
Can I Get Hot Tea
According to restaurant professionals, the single greatest way to get your waiter to hate you is to ask for hot tea. For some reason, an industry that’s managed to streamline everything else hasn’t been able to streamline that process. You’ve got to get a pot, boil the water, get the lemons, get the honey, bring a cup and spoon. It’s a lot of work for little reward, according to restaurant industry professionals. This request involves multiple trips and coordination that disrupts the server’s workflow with other tables significantly more than almost any other beverage order.
Are You Sure This Is Decaf
In some restaurants, after 8 p.m. or so, all the coffee is decaf because no one wants to clean two different coffeepots. Servers will bring out a tray with 12 coffees on it and give some to the customers who ordered regular, others to the ones who ordered decaf. But they’re often all decaf, according to some restaurant workers. This question puts servers in an awkward position where they either have to lie or reveal industry secrets that might disappoint customers. The reality is that many restaurants take shortcuts during slower evening hours, but questioning servers about it creates unnecessary tension.
Can You Split This Check Seventeen Different Ways
Time management is a crucial part of the serving job, and when customers ask for four different things four different times, that’s when it gets annoying. The pattern goes like this: “I need ketchup,” server gets ketchup, “Can I get some more napkins?” server gets napkins, “Oh, I need mayo too,” server gets mayo, “I’d like a refill on my soda,” and servers lose every last bit of patience. When a server asks if anything else is needed, customers should really think about the answer. Complex payment splits require extensive time at the point-of-sale system while other tables wait for attention, creating a ripple effect of delayed service.
Why Don’t You Smile More
Restaurant workers are constantly on display and have to think on their feet while problem-solving like a boss. Anyone in the industry has their server alter ego, complete with a signature customer service voice. They put their smile on for every table, but sometimes the phony grin disappears the moment they turn around. Servers are expected to be friendly, courteous, and skilled at their job regardless of how poorly diners treat them. If they greet a table with a smile and customers glare with hate, they must pretend that attitude doesn’t affect them. If a guest barks because they feel uncomfortable not understanding the menu, servers are required to empathize and respond with kindness. This question dismisses the emotional labor that service workers already provide.
Can You Turn Up the Heat or Change the Music
Sometimes it’s no problem to accommodate requests, but it really depends on the restaurant. At a sports bar, servers aren’t allowed to put anything on the TVs that wasn’t sports-related. So if servers say they can’t put your desired show on, don’t get mad at them because they didn’t make the rules. Most environmental controls are either centralized, managed by specific staff members, or governed by corporate policies that individual servers cannot override. These requests put servers in the uncomfortable position of having to disappoint customers over policies they don’t control.
Is This Organic, Free-Range, Gluten-Free Everything
It’s very common for customers to have doubts about food portions and ingredients, but servers should ideally take time to openly understand customer needs. Staff must be familiar with the entire menu and able to recommend dishes that complement dietary requirements. The important thing is to understand the customer’s needs and show that the restaurant wants diners to leave happy and not hungry. However, extremely detailed ingredient questions beyond basic allergen information often require kitchen consultation, disrupting service flow. While dietary restrictions are important, rapid-fire interrogations about every menu component can overwhelm servers who are managing multiple tables simultaneously.
The Silent Treatment
Servers and customers talking to each other is part of how restaurants work. Any time a server is at the table, they’re there for a reason so it’s best to pay attention when they show up. They’re never there just to shoot the breeze and say hello – they have a purpose. When customers don’t pause their conversation for a moment to find out what the server needs to tell them, it’s officially annoying behavior. Restaurant professionals report hating when they ask someone how they’re doing today, and customers just reply with their drink order. Being nice costs zero dollars. This non-question behavior forces servers to interrupt conversations awkwardly or wait indefinitely while their other tables grow impatient.
The restaurant industry operates on tight margins and precise timing, where servers juggle multiple responsibilities while maintaining professional composure. Understanding which questions create unnecessary stress helps build better relationships between diners and the hardworking professionals who serve them. Next time you’re dining out, remember that a little consideration goes a long way in making everyone’s evening more enjoyable.
