You walk into a bar after a long week, ready to unwind. The bartender looks up, maybe nods in your direction. You scan the menu quickly, feeling a little pressure with the line forming behind you. What sounds good tonight? Here’s the thing though: certain drink orders can instantly change how that bartender sees you. Some cocktails are absolute nightmares to make, while others just scream trouble from the moment they leave your mouth. Having spent countless nights behind the stick, I can tell you this stuff matters more than you’d think.
The Mojito
Bartenders everywhere hate making mojitos, plain and simple. The primary reason this particular cocktail irritates bartenders is the time it takes to make. Picture this: your bartender’s got a dozen people waiting for drinks, the music’s pumping, maybe it’s a hot summer Friday, and then someone orders a mojito. The problem isn’t just the ingredients. Muddling ingredients in the glass or shaker only adds another step that can disrupt a bar’s fast-paced rhythm. Those fresh mint leaves need to be carefully pressed to release their oils without turning into a bitter, shredded mess. This creates a compounding problem, as bartenders spend more and more time muddling mint, especially when one person orders it and suddenly the whole table wants one too. As one bartender put it, it’s frickin’ delicious, and you can’t get mad at anyone for ordering it, but still, the sentiment remains.
The Ramos Gin Fizz
This one’s legendary for all the wrong reasons. The Ramos Gin Fizz is a classic and delicious cocktail but it is a nightmare to see on a ticket due simply to time. We’re talking about a drink that contains gin, lemon, lime, cream, egg white, orange blossom water, sugar, and soda water. This cocktail can easily take 10 to 15 minutes to do correctly and there is no multi-tasking during this period, including around 8 minutes of dry shaking. Honestly, imagine being stuck shaking one drink while a crowd three-deep at the bar watches you like you’re some kind of cocktail performance artist. If someone gets one in the middle of the dinner rush, it’s either deny it or slow down everyone else’s drink times, making it a death sentence in a full restaurant. Almost unanimously, bartenders across the country are staunchly opposed to subjecting a fellow bartender to the relative labor intensity of making a Ramos Gin Fizz.
The Long Island Iced Tea
Let’s be real here. No bartenders ever order a Long Island iced tea, according to a bartender with over 20 years of experience. Why? The drink contains a puzzling number of ingredients: gin, vodka, white rum, tequila, and triple sec, with lemon juice, simple syrup, and a splash of cola. That’s five different liquors for one drink. Some cocktails are loathed because of the people who tend to order them, and Long Island Iced Teas tend to be ordered by less-than-gracious guests. It’s just a dumb drink that tastes pretty much only like cola, sour mix, and raw booze, somehow less than the sum of its parts. The general vibe when someone orders this? They’re looking to get wasted quickly and probably won’t tip well.
The Espresso Martini
Yeah, I know this one’s trendy right now. The espresso martini increased its ordering growth by 50 percent, becoming massively popular in recent years. The problem? All of the ingredients can be tossed in the shaker at once, so the cocktail itself isn’t too taxing, but that’s only if there’s chilled espresso at the ready. Most bars don’t keep espresso brewing all night. Espresso martinis take a hot liquid and another machine, more things to clean, and then you have to chill it properly, which just takes more time. There’s no real standard recipe, and because they’re so popular, people are really particular about the one they prefer. Order this thirty minutes before closing when the coffee machine’s already been cleaned? You’re basically declaring war.
Frozen Drinks
Working behind the bar isn’t for the faint of heart, and making drinks that require a blender isn’t among the top favorites, as it often means more cleanup. Think piña coladas, strawberry daiquiris, or worst of all, a Miami Vice. A Miami Vice’s two components, half strawberry daiquiri and half piña colada, must be made in two separate blenders before being combined. The blender’s loud, it requires dedicated attention, and once one person orders a frozen drink on a packed night, everyone suddenly wants one. It becomes contagious. Plus those sticky, sugary messes coat everything and take forever to clean properly.
Layered Shots
You know those Instagram-worthy shots with pretty stripes of different colored liqueurs? Layered shots require finesse and technical precision, and having to layer six shots perfectly not only takes practice but is extremely tedious, and these cannot be batch-made either. At a high volume bar, complicated drinks only slow your bartender down, which makes their job harder and means less money at the end of the night. Each shot has to be carefully poured using the back of a spoon to create those distinct layers without mixing the liquids. When someone orders a dozen of these at peak hours, it’s genuinely maddening. They use up twice the glassware and seem to always be ordered for large groups, which also means lower tips since the person buying tends to just round up the total.
Look, bartenders will make whatever you order. That’s the job. However, understanding what goes into these drinks might make you think twice next time you’re three-deep at a busy bar on a Saturday night. Read the room, respect the person making your drink, and tip accordingly if you absolutely must have that mojito. What’s your usual order? Does it make the list?
