After nearly a decade and a half behind the bar – working everything from packed sports bars to upscale cocktail lounges – you pick up on patterns. Certain drinks come up again and again that, for one reason or another, are almost guaranteed to disappoint. Having spent over a decade behind all kinds of bars, from sports dives to wine-focused bistros, a seasoned bartender picks up industry insights that can genuinely help folks make the most of their drinking excursions. This isn’t about shaming anyone’s taste. Certain beverages ordered in specific situations may result in a subpar experience for both the drinker and the drink maker, and the last thing a bartender wants is for their guest to feel shortchanged.
1. The Long Island Iced Tea
The Long Island Iced Tea is a bartender’s nightmare for several reasons. First and foremost, it’s a complex cocktail that requires multiple ingredients, including vodka, rum, gin, tequila, and triple sec – basically a liquor cabinet in a glass. Long Islands usually consist of bottom-shelf liquor and a sugary sour mix, and in many bartenders’ experience, some will even badly make them on purpose to discourage people from ordering more since they have too many ingredients.
Bar manager Alisha Kaplan called Long Islands “the amalgamation of everything terrible in a cocktail” that will “guarantee you the worst hangover of your life,” adding that the classic cocktail is overpriced and poorly made at most bars. There’s also a significant health angle here. A typical Long Island Iced Tea can contain anywhere from 200 to 780 calories, depending on the bar or restaurant where it is prepared, with the high caloric content primarily due to the mixture of different types of alcohol and the addition of cola and sweet and sour mix, which are both high in sugar. The drink has a much higher alcohol concentration – approximately 22 percent – than most highball drinks, due to the relatively small amount of mixer.
2. The Mojito
When made right, a mojito is crisp and concerningly drinkable – a treasured summer cocktail generally served with so much crushed ice that it’s practically a snow cone. As simple as the ingredients are, just rum, fresh lime, sugar, mint, and soda water, the logistics are a nightmare. Any cocktail that relies on muddled herbs is going to warrant a big sigh from the bartender. You can always sniff out fresh mint, but the oils aren’t magically released as soon as the leaves hit the glass – mixologists have to pulverize the mint for a few solid seconds to really infuse the flavor.
Managing Partner of Brass Monkey in New York City, Marisol Delarosa, notes that making one or two mojitos isn’t necessarily a problem, but the real issue is that people see it and want one, and the next thing you know, you’re just a mojito machine for the next several hours. To avoid this, Delarosa has seen bartenders lie about not having fresh mint to force patrons to order simpler drinks. On top of that, mojitos could be carrying bacteria from spoiled mint leaves, since bars don’t serve too many mojitos and it’s rare they keep fresh mint on deck – fresh mint only lasts about a week, so chances are your mojito special isn’t serving the freshest quality garnish.
3. The Ramos Gin Fizz
The Ramos Gin Fizz is one of the most universally hated cocktails by bartenders. It’s made with gin, egg white, citrus, simple syrup, and cream, but has to be shaken hard for up to ten or fifteen minutes. It was popular from the late 1800s up until the 1970s, when it thankfully for bartenders fell out of fashion. Invented by New Orleans bartender Henry Ramos in the late 19th century, the drink boasts a lengthy list of ingredients, including gin, lemon and lime juice, simple syrup, egg whites, cream, orange flower water, and soda.
The Ramos has nine components and needs to be shaken a lot. When there’s time to make one, some bartenders genuinely enjoy the shaking workout, but if one comes in during the middle of the dinner rush, it’s either deny it or slow down everyone else’s drink times – making it a death sentence in a full restaurant and the only drink some bartenders actually turn down. A Ramos Gin Fizz has an original recipe that calls for it to be shaken for anywhere from 12 to 15 minutes, which is simply not doable for most bartenders – “In fact, the probably adequate 45 seconds is pushing it – at a busy bar, that is going to drive everybody crazy.”
4. The Espresso Martini
The espresso martini saw its ordering growth increase by 50% in summer 2024, and the drink has been one of the most talked-about cocktails in the United States, according to Coffeeness via Forbes. That kind of popularity, however, comes with real problems behind the bar. There’s no real standard recipe, and because they’re so popular, people are really particular about the one they prefer – and as one experienced bartender noted, there are so many things that can go wrong with this drink.
The biggest challenge bartenders highlight tends to come down to one thing: espresso. The original spec calls for a freshly pulled shot, which is a logistical nightmare for most bars. Few have space for an espresso machine, and adding a piping hot shot to a shaker full of ice can lead to dilution issues. The more popular a drink becomes, the more likely it is to fall in the hands of unskilled bartenders, leading to inconsistent quality – “I think the Espresso Martini is one of those cocktails that can vary in quality so drastically – when they’re good, they’re fantastic. When they’re bad, they are really bad.”
5. The Bloody Mary (Outside of Brunch Hours)
The Bloody Mary is a beloved brunch staple that becomes a bartender’s bane after dark. This savory cocktail is a prime example of a drink that should stay in its lane, time-wise – while it’s a fantastic morning pick-me-up, ordering one at night can throw a wrench in the works of a busy bar. The problem arises when you order this drink outside of typical brunch hours. Many bars simply don’t keep all these ingredients readily available throughout the day. The tomato juice might be tucked away in storage, the garnishes may not be prepped, and the spice mix could be buried behind bottles of more frequently used spirits – meaning your bartender has to scramble to gather everything, significantly slowing down service for everyone else.
Bloody Marys should only really exist during brunch hours. The cocktail is made with vodka, lemon juice, salt and pepper, horseradish, Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, and tomato juice. The drink just sounds like something ready to be eaten, so ordering a Bloody Mary after brunch is a risky choice – bartenders are usually only set up to take on this challenge during brunch hours, and after that, the ingredients have been put away, making getting them back together for one Bloody Mary quite inconvenient. Unless it’s made fresh and stored properly, tomato-based Bloody Mary mix can be suspect – and at a busy bar, if you’re lucky, you might get a few old olives and a slice of celery in your glass.
6. Frozen Blended Drinks (When There’s No Blender in Sight)
Unless you see it buzzing and swirling around in a colorful machine behind the bartender’s head, do not order a frozen drink. Expecting your bartender to bust out an entire kitchen appliance to make you an alcohol smoothie that will be loaded with everything except fresh fruit is the height of bar-going bad etiquette. Bartender Julien Whaley also expressed concern at being asked to whip out the blender. When working private events, bartenders are often understaffed and ill-equipped to make those complicated blended beverages – if you know there’s a big crowd and only one or two bartenders working the party, consider being considerate.
Bartenders recommend skipping popular poolside blends, like strawberry daiquiris and piña coladas, if you want to truly enjoy the alcohol in your drink and get the most for your money – they’re often diluted by whatever sugary mixture the bar is using. “As perfect as they are by the pool and as beautiful as they look in photos, I would overlook having a blended drink,” one bartender advised. If the bartender at your local bar has been telling you the blender is “broken” for the past two years, believe it – it’s not them, it’s you.
